May 24, 2013

"Texas Vocabulary"...a new post from the "Handbook for new Texans"...

I've heard it all, about how Texans talk. I spent the better part of my life traveling this country with the United States Navy and I've spent time in some pretty strange places. And once I had mentioned that I was from Texas, well, it could git pretty ugly, pretty quick, for sure. I've heard every Texas joke there is and reacted perfectly within reason with an icy stare directed at the one telling the joke. It seems the favorite joke outsided of Texas, always had to do with steers. I guess their must be some class the other 49 states attend to learn the same, tired Texas joke.
But Texans take great pride in their state, their pride and the way the talk. It's like no other place on the globe. Texas vernacular is very defined to this state. You won't hear a Jayhawk from Kansas talking with a Texas twang or using words that Texans use daily. That would be as strange as Clint Eastwood talking like Liberace. I suppose the language peculiarities come from the many flags that have flown over our great state and the pure brilliance of Texans themselves practicing the process of improvement.
So if you're movin' to Texas from nether regions, you need to have a heads up on certain words, phrases and dialects in Texas. So we're gonna start out todays lesson with a word that has been very good to Texas over the years. Here's your first lesson on "Texas Vocabulary".
Business – “bi-niss”
This word is pronounced wrong in 49 states and in certain zip codes in Texas. In Texas, you only prounounce the “esses” at the end of the word. No need to pronounce the middle "ess". The middle “ess'” is unnecessary and not pronounced. And theres a perfectly good explanation as to why. It’s more efficient to pronounce it this way. And “bi-niss”, especially in Texas, is all about efficiency.
Ok, there's your first lesson in Texas Vocabulary. Can you imagine how much time is saved by makin' efficient use of words like we do in Texas? I imagine a good hour of talkin' is cut off each day by Texans trimmin' the fat.
Until next time... God bless you and God bless Texas!
The Impulsive Texan