June 5, 2013

New Post from the "Handbook for New Texans"...this weeks subject? Hunting...

There are three activities in Texas that border on obsession:

1. Football
2. Fishing
3. Hunting

Since it's less than 90 days away until the opening weekend of dove season, we're going to cover the subject of hunting this week. You can hunt just about year round here in Texas and you can hunt just about anything that lives and breathes, crawls, runs, jumps or slivers in the great Texas outdoors. The whitetail deer in Texas is king with no other season coming close in popularity. But you can also hunt dove, quail, rabbits, squirrels, hogs and even alligators. To say the least, there is a great variety of hunting choices here in Texas.

It's a right of passage for youngsters, whether boy or girl, to learn to hunt here in Texas. When born, a youngster here in Texas is given a birth certificate, a hospital bill and daddy's rights to his hunting lease. It's been that way forever. A dowry of sorts.

Hunting is an activity that provides food for the freezer, fellowship with other hunters and an excuse to git out to the "Beer-Lease", OH, uhhh, I mean, the "Deer-Lease!" "Oh no mama, we ain't gonna be drinkin' no beer at the lease!"

The most popular Q-sine at the deer camp is chili and beer. Others may git fancy and bring boloney sandwiches, Vienna Sausages, Potted Meat and crackers, but those folks just mess up the efficiency of chili. You can open up 40 or 50 cans and leave it simmerin' over the fire all weekend and you don't have to worry about lunch or supper or breakfast for that matter. It'll feed a camp full of hungry hunters for just pennies a serving. Just scoop up a bowl full, add some crackers and dinner is served!

You know there are going to be rules and suggestions for hunting in order for the new Texan to make a smooth transition into making a better life here in Texas. And with that said, our subject of hunting and the rules to understand begin below.


The first weekend in September is the opening day of dove season and is the most anticipated day in Texas each year, because it ushers in yet another time when men and women will be headin' to the woods and fields to harvest the bounty that God has so graciously provided. And the first weekend in October, which is the opening of bow season is another sacred day. From September 1st until the extended hunting days are over in January, all other activities will cease, except for Friday Night Football, in the case that your favorite team makes the playoffs.

If you don't remember but one thing about hunting, make sure you always follow the golden rule of hunting in Texas… Consume what you harvest, period.

Here are two suggestions for non-hunters to cope with hunting season in Texas:

1. Learn to enjoy hunting yourself, or,

2. Learn to cope, the closing weekend in January ain’t that far off.


When packing for the hunting trip, the following items are essential:

1.  Chili
2.  Beer
3.  Camouflage shirts, long sleeve and short sleeve. It might be 90 in October
4.  Camouflage pants
5.  Cell phone charger for your truck...a good game of Angry Birds can suck your phone dry.
6.  Lawn chair
7.  A blanket for the bed of your truck, or a tent
8.  A sharp hunting knife, for whittlin'
9.  Flashlight and batteries, for the midnight nature call
10. Aspirin or Tylenol, whichever you prefer, to help with the hangover
11. Washers or horshoes, depending on which side of the family is there
12. The latest Deer Hunting app loaded onto your I-Phone
13. Sunglasses, to cover your bloodshot eyes
14. Fishing gear...there might be a tank on the property with fish in it.
15. and last but not least, a gun and ammo, 'cause you might actually see a deer.

'Til the season begins, God bless all y'all new Texans and God bless Texas hunting!
The Impulsive Texan