June 14, 2013

New Post...Texas weather, from "Handbook for new Texans"...

This weeks post is about  the weather. Now there's nothing more unpredictable in Texas, than the weather. It can get cold, it can snow, but don't let anyone tell you different, it gets hot in Texas. There are rules about the heat in Texas, in which you'll read about below.

This is an important segment in welcoming our new compadre's from other states, because it just wouldn't be right to not tell our new friends about the balmy weather here in Texas...

If you’ve watched the news or have lent an ear to a weather report at any time in your adult life, chances are you’ve heard about how hot it is in Texas. Well, heat is relative. The summer heat index has been known to hover above the 115 degree mark in the Texas summertime for days and weeks on end. But the surface of the sun is around a million degrees, so the weather here in Texas is actually quite balmy if you rearrange you thinking.
Our winters seem like they last twenty minutes and are usually from around January 15th until the first week in February if we’re lucky. The average winter in Texas is shorter than the bow hunting season which lasts from the first weekend in October until the first weekend in November. It has been known to carry on as long as six weeks though, in extreme winter conditions. And there have been stories of snow falling during that time. With the winters in Texas, you don’t even have to put your summer clothes away. Keep ‘em in the closet, the winter will be over before you get them cleaned and stored away.
The heat in Texas makes you rethink your lifestyle once you get here. No longer will you see if you can sneak into the closest parking spot at the mall. Oh no, your priorities will now be to find the closest shade tree or an open shade tree for that matter. And there are two rules in Texas about the heat...if you have a vehicle with leather or faux leather seats, one… ladies, don’t wear short shorts in the summer time and crawl straight into your truck in August. You WILL lose a 20 square inch area of skin on the back of both of your thighs. The seats are like an awaiting oven burner. Always keep a towel spread out over your seat when you leave for more than a minute or so.
And two…use a bandana to open the door to your truck. The average temperature in August in Texas is probably 173 degrees and you will lose a fingerprint or two if you touch the door handle. So think “bandana” before you burn.
Rule of thumb…Spring lasts about as long as a long lunch break. You get to work in the morning and it might be 48 – 50 degrees. But by the time you get off of work and start heading home, the summer has come to stay for the year.
Summer lasts from early February or March until the better parts of late November. And the average temperature during that time is a little warm on average and right at 100 degrees on most summer days.
So, think and don't burn! Keep cool this summer! Welcome to Texas!

The Impulsive Texan